My message is simple: Fuck Wal-Mart!

 

Hey, Wal-Mart! Don't Say I Never Did Anything For You.

The other day I found myself sticking up for Wal-Mart. Some guy was sitting in a restaurant bitching about how much he hated working for Wal-Mart. I listened for a while. Every so often I would stick out my tongue and make a jerking off motion with my fist. It wasn't that some of his complaints were without merit. It was his sniveling attitude about it. Customers this and management that. I thought he was going to end up crying at some point. Pussy!

He proclaimed, "All Wal-Mart managers eat dick sandwiches." This is where I lost my cool. I went over to his table to inform him how unfair his statement was. I said with a super serious look, "Generalized statements like this do a disservice to Wal-Mart." Confusion was written all over his face. I grabbed his fork and took a bite of his pasta. I then wiped my mouth with his napkin and continued, "How do you know for sure that ALL Wal-Mart managers even like bread?"

 

This domain is not endorsed by said company above where every member of upper management can go fuck themselves right in their ear. Herp derp!